I write these words aboard a colossal bullet rocketing from the Earth to Mars. Wondrous as this is (and it is, I assure you, quite wondrous), I am even more amazed by the fact that it is the year 1895! Tesla - yes, the noted scientist of years past, Nikola Tesla! -- is unsure how long the voyage will take so I have decided to pass the time recording what mankind (circa 1895) knows of our destination - Mars. How I came by this information is a story in itself.